For those of you who speak English I dedicate this entry.

First I have to welcome you to what I call my -not so- secret space. From you I only ask two things, to open your minds not trying to believe in what I tell you, but just reading my story, the second thing is to forgive my mistakes.

Most of my life I have tried to create a show, for others and for myself. That’s why when my dear Lady Gaga said "It is not that I have been dishonest, it’s just that I loathe reality" I felt much identified.

You see, I belive there is some background to it. My mother, a great woman, was born and raised in a unique environment. Her Mother came from a rich family and was given a unique education, unlike those of her time; lots of reading, poetry, geography and history. She had great character and a huge presence, although she was rather small.

My mother was also given a different education, academically she was outstanding but she also received valuable social information, and instead of marrying the first man with a good Family name she went to the Capital, to the university. That gave her such a perspective that the least she could do for her daughters was to give them the chance to see the world with full support.

Still, the American influence is very clear in her. Just like those ads in the 50's, the ideal and perfect lifestyle of an ideal and perfect family. But my mom, just like every woman dreaming about it, knew it wasn't anywhere close to reality.

I, myself find it romantic, and for cultural or genetic reasons, I still think it is right to keep up appearances.This, of course, has brought me trouble in this modern society, and more specifically even pain in the Spanish society.

I will make a point, I promise. Yesterday I went to the theater to see "La Casa de Los Siete Balcones" -The House of the Seven Balconies- and the point of the play was to learn to say "No", the most difficult word according to the main character. "To say Yes you lower your head, But when you say No you have to put your chin up and Shout", She said. I was very surprised by the importance of this fact, and more important, the spanish analysis of it.

Now, my point is that sometimes we deal with the remainings of the convenient 50's lifestyle and although it is chauvinist and not realistic we accept it. But, what if we really want it?

Some women want to be treated as equal, but are still quite pleased when a man opens the door for them, or carries their heavy bags. Isn’t that a double morality?.

So, to be honest, I don't want to be treated equal, I want to be treated better. I want to be able to feel safe in some arms and my tears to be understood. I want to have the same opportunities, the choice in my hands… to be a 50’s Woman If I Want To.